이강소 (Gangso Lee) 1944-2010

Jin's father died at 11am on Monday, 11th January. He had been in hospital since the week before I left for England in December. When I visited him upon my return to Korea he was in a pretty bad state, the cancer in and around his lungs was restricting his ability to breathe to such an extent that he was struggling to take in enough oxygen. Jin stayed with him the few days before he died, as she had done most of the time I was in England. On Monday 11th he had to get up for some tests and it was just too much for him.

The funeral started the day he died. As is usual in Korea the ceremony was held continuously over three days, people visiting the funeral house to pay respects, say good-bye to their friend and show support for the family, with the cremation and burial held on the third day. During that time some Buddhist monks came by to perform various ceremonies. On the fifth and seventh days there were two more short ceremonies - one at the family mountain tomb (traditionally Koreans bury their dead in raised tombs in the mountains, at least, those that can afford to), and one at a Buddhist temple. Now there is one ceremony a week for the next seven weeks (forty-nine days of mourning is a Korean Buddhist tradition). It's quite a demand on the family, but I was quite impressed with the Korean funeral traditions, which allow enough time for positive rememberance of the life of the deceased, as well as for grief. Certainly they seem to have helped Jin and her mother to get through the death of their father and husband, and to start to move on.

To be honest I don't feel like I knew Jin's father all that well. He was a man of few words (even fewer given my broken Korean), and I didn't see much of him 'in action' either. Still, he was clearly kind and thoughtful, if a little stuck in the traditional patriachal image of the Korean man. May he attain peace.