Flight LH719

Wednesday 16th December. I am on flight LH719 to Munich. Next to me is an empty seat - Jin is several miles behind, a thousand feet below, and receding at approximately 300 miles per hour. That wasn't part of the plan.

We were together at the airport about an hour ago. We had got up early to pack, and for Jin to finish proof-reading a couple of documents she had to submit that day. I moaned at her for leaving it until the last minute, futile harsh words which seemed so important at the time. We got a taxi to the airport - we could have saved 50,000 won going by metro not to mention all the extra greenhouse gas emissions, but we were late - forget it. We got to the airport and then...

Jin got a call from her sister. Her father, in hospital since Saturday supposedly for a routine draining of fluid from his lung cavity had suddenly worsened the night before, and lost the ability to breathe for himself. He was given mechanical breathing assistance and in the morning was diagnosed with pneumonia.

Out of the window the Korean peninsula has disappeared from view. Below is only the rippled, silvery surface of the sea. Strange how from up here the waves look static, frozen in time. Where the sun is reflected strongest the texture is beautiful. It reminds me of those STM images of atomic surfaces. The few clouds there are cast dark shadows like wells in the density of states (sorry, but that's what it looked like).

Jin's father's prognosis is uncertain. He might recover, he might be dead in a few days. Knowing that, how could Jin leave the country? Should I have left? I don't know.

I haven't written anything for an hour. First the meal came. I ate it, it wasn't unpleasant except for the rather tasteless spinach, but I ate that too -- we vegetarians need the extra iron. After that I was distracted by the scenery: an enormous fleet of ships far below, then huge stretches of recovered land at the coast of China. A few minutes later we passed over a city, must have been Beijing judging by its size. Peng- it you looked up at the sky around 2:30pm and saw a plane overhead maybe our eyes briefly crossed. The city was followed by jagged mountains, and then a snowy wilderness which I guess was Mongolia. A few patchwork patches in the desolation were signs of a sparse population. Now below is a shapeless brown desert and no sign of humanity. The guy across the aisle is reading about "the greatest sex-scandal of the year", I wonder in which sense 'greatest' is used.

Should I have got on the plane? My heart was urging me to, I didn't realise how much I missed England - the country, my family and friends. But my gut reaction was to stay: what kind of husband leaves his wife at a time like this? Jin was begging me to go tearfully - I think she feels guilty about taking me away from my parents (she shouldn't). If I had stayed there would be nothing I could practically do for her father, but I could have supported her. Then again, if I insisted to stay and she felt so bad about it that could have burdened her more... Anyway I went. Should her father die or if she needs me I will get an early flight back.

On the inflight television now a computer-generated man is showing us the correct way to sit on the cabin seats. Apparently you should sit bolt upright with a rather constipated look on your face (maybe because you have a rod up your backside). The brown desert is still below but seems less impressive. Great, all of nature's beauty can inspire me for a little under two hours. What an idiot. I decide to go for a walk to avoid getting deep vain thrombosis.

On returning to my seat I am suddenly annoyed. Next to me a flight attendant is selling the 'sex-scandal' guy an obscene amount of individually wrapped inhalable toxins (they're tax free - hooray!). She is Korean and speaks English with a gratingly twangy American accent. She probably put in a lot of effort and spent loads of money to speak English like that, poor girl. What a stupid thing to get annoyed by. Of course, what I'm really annoyed by is that bastard god for stopping Jin and I spending a happy Christmas together. And I'm annoyed at myself for not knowing what was the right thing to do.

5pm Korean time. Less than 3 hours after eating but I'm already hungry again. Obviously that meal had all the nutritional value of a cardboard box. I consider chewing my nails but remember Jin doesn't like it. Instead I find a small packet of cashew nuts.

I'm bored. I wish I'd brought that sudoku puzzle book with me. I decide to try making my own. First I draw a 9x9 grid and fill in the numbers 1-9 following the appropriate rules. I put a one is each 3x3 square, then a 2... I get to 8 before I am forced to put two 8's in the same column. I consider starting again from scratch but come up with a way around it, transposing pairs of numbers in two columns until the problem is resolved. I feel quite pleased with myself. That was quite tiring, so I take a nap.

8 4 1|7 6 2|3 5 9
5 7 9|8 3 4|1 6 2
3 2 6|5 9 1|8 4 7
--------------------
4 1 7|2 5 8|9 3 6
6 8 2|9 1 3|5 7 4
9 3 5|4 7 6|2 1 8
--------------------
2 5 4|3 8 7|6 9 1
1 9 8|6 4 5|7 2 3
7 6 3|1 2 9|4 8 5

6:30pm. Nap not very successful but I feel more awake now so I continue with the puzzle. I cross off the numbers in the grid one by one, making sure before I cross off a number that its position can be derived from the remaining numbers. I try to keep a rotational symmetry but I don't get very far before I have to break it (more than half the numbers are still left when I get stuck). Breaking symmetry allows me to cross off another 10 numbers. I give up once my success rate drops to about 10 minutes/number. This is the result:

8 4 -|- 6 -|- 5 9
- - 9|8 - - |- - 2
3 - -|5 - 1|- 4 -
------------------
4 - 7|2 - -|9 3 -
- 8 -|- 1 -| - 7 -
- - 5|- - 6|2 - -
------------------
- - 4|3 - 7|- - 1
1 - -|- - 5|7 - -
- 6 -|- 2 -|- 8 5

Not sure if it's difficult or easy... seems like there are still too many numbers left. It took me about 2 hours to construct but a computer could use the same method to do it in seconds. I wonder if this is how they are usually produced?

Finally we land - 5:15pm German time. I did manage to get some sleep eventually, though I can see I'll be well and truly jet-lagged. I love watching out the window as the plane lands. First the clouds get closer and closer, then we dive into the cloud and everything goes blank until the ground below slowly emerges through the mist. I can see roads and houses, then individual cars on the road. Closer still and I can tell the cars are all on the wrong side of the road, a sign I still have a little more travelling to do.

Korean time it's 1:15am - Jin must be in bed. She might be staying at the hospital overnight - not unusual in Korea for the patients family. I hope her dad is doing alright.

And I’m back to ‘For every blog entry, I will write another one’

Happy Birthday Big BoyAnt!!! May you still in whole piece and is surviving French girls!
Happy Birthday Paradise!!! May you got your dream job and then come to Malaysia!

I miss everyone too! (Mark, you have left Pie out!)

I miss Mark’s office (with the most uncreative password and stupidest drawings on the white board). I miss spending whole afternoon with Hema chilling at an exotic café at the Portobello Market. I miss painting Luangpor’s kuti fence with Peng. I miss my cheeks being squeezed by Paradise. I miss sneaking into Joob’s room and count the number of teddy bears on her shelf. I miss Christmas at Ant’s house in Norfolk. And Pie’s evil plan…

It’s difficult being so far away from you all. People here are nice but they just don’t force me to go for tea breaks during exams. (I'm not sarcastic, I'm stressed! Nobody invited me for tea!)

In celebration of friends

I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you guys. Happy Birthday to Ant, and to Paradise (on Wednesday). I hope you both have a wonderful year ahead of you. Good luck to Kay for her financial management exam (you can do it!), and to Joob for her approaching departure from the safety of the UK. Hema I hope you are reading this too, otherwise you might be surprised when I turn up on your doorstep in a couple of weeks time!

I miss Ant's puppy-like energy, and Hema's witch-like cackle, and Kay's abrasive sarcasm (although actually googlechat transmits that quite effectively). I wish we could all sit down together with some nice strong black tea and... let time pass.

It's difficult being so far away from you all. People here are nice but they just don't appreciate a good cup of tea.

For every two blog entries, I will write one…

Am supposed to be studying, but to hell Financial Management!

For months I have been planning for my study leave and when it has finally arrived, all I want to do is to sleep and to remember to study.

So my plan to Nepal, volunteering in old folks home or do some salsa dancing have all flushed down to the drain.

It was nice though, not to have my bosses calling 10pm at night or go back to office during the weekend…But I’m not sure I can cope with the idea of going back to work next Monday :P

Guess I’ll just have to start planning for my study leave in April 2010, or a serious serious backpack to Nepal+Bhutan+Tibet+India and Latin America after I passed all my exams and quit my job 3 years later...